The fight back home...

We have stowed our rucks,
returned our rifles.
We have said hello and given big hugs.
We drink that first beer,
give our brothers a cheer.

We go home on leave,
with hashmarks on the sleeve.
Ribbons on our chest,
time for long needed rest.
We hope for peace,
for the bullets flight will cease.

No more convoys,
no more ECP's.
No more hides,
I'm done with sleeping in weeds.
No more come up sheets,
no more eye strain from the scope.

To move on with my life,
is what I hope.

I feel peace, I feel numb?
From where did this come,
this feeling of despair,
for this, for that, for her,
I just don't seem to care.
I can't sleep at night,
I'm always ready for a fight.

I turn to a bottle,
I swallow that pill.
I can't seem to find any thrill.
Light up a bowl,
go for a stroll.

Destroying my body,
not caring for life.
This is the tune of my strife.
I'm in a dark place,
I can't keep up with this pace.
They don't understand,
I just want someone to hold my hand.
I don't want the screams,
even though safety is what it means...to me.

Tell me I'm ok, tell me it will get better.
No one knows...
No one knows...

I wake up one day,
I can see the light.
No one knows...
I go to the den,
to find my zen.
To center my life,
to be rid of this strife.

I throw the bottle,
I flush the pills.
For those are what are stealing my thrills.
I'm better than this,
I don't need any of that.

My friends think I'm crazy,
may parents are scared.
This is something new,
I have something to do.
To live again,
to move on.
To let it be a part of me that few show,
I want to let many know.

Just how much it has changed me,
I'm not the person I used to be.
I am stronger,
I am wiser.
I am clean.
I take on the battle at home

I fight through the guilt,
I fight through the pain.
I fight so I can remain.
I will give you the real me,
I will not hide behind the cloud,
I am better.

It's a lonely battle,
fought by many.
Those who fail aren't few...but many.
You kick us to the curb,
you tell us we are broke.
I'm laughing...because you are the joke.

I have come so far...

I am home.