Before I leave...

I am going on a trip tomorrow and I think it will be good for me. I have come to understand that is over. I really don't wish it was this way, I really wish I could have this year with her.

I know that in time I will feel better, I also know that I have friends and family around to talk to. I feel bad talking to them though, I feel like I am annoying them. I feel like they don't need me to come and ruin their day with my shit.

The truth is this: I am hurt.

I need to get away for a bit to clear my mind and refocus my direction. I am moving on and I will face the situations as they come. If I get a chance to talk to her about this thing I'm not going to beg to be taken back...I have to much self-respect for that. I simply want to know what happened.