Ouch

I really don't know how to put into words what I am feeling right now. I turn to this blog to work things out. I know I will be ok though. I don't have or want to say anything bad about someone because that isn't my way. I don't know why it had to end like this, I don't know what I did. I thought I was doing everything right. I held her up so high and let her know how proud of her I am. I wanted to include her in many aspects of my life as I could. I care for her and I want her to be successful. I don't know what I did or what I didn't do.

I understand that people come and go, I understand that things can end. It was good while it was going, I worked so hard to be the man I thought she wanted me to be. I really don't know.

What I do know is that I am second only to one thing and no one compares to that Spirit. I know that I am a great guy and I know I am a great lover. I know that I am a good friend to those I am a friend to. I know that when I get knocked down I can get back up and dust myself off and come back. I'm not going to let this consume me. I'm not going to let this kill my life blood. I have been through to much to let it. I have seen death's face and slapped it. I have been through harder times and have been hurt worse. I always come out on top. Things may not work out for me like I want them to at first but eventually they do. I am a worker and a warrior, I fight the hard fights and emerge victorious.

I need to say this as well:

If you are reading this please don't respond with negativity. I am a man and I have class. I will not tolerate any sort of down talk towards her. As a man with class I will keep our dealings professional and mature. I may get mad and want an explanation but that may never come. I may be down, but I am not out.

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.

A small bird will fall frozen dead from a bough

without ever feeling sorry for itself"

D.H. Lawrence

So what am I going to do? What I always do. Drive on.