Sunday, March 28, 2010

So FaceBook is an amazing thing. You can use it to catch up with old friends, keep in cotact with family far away or in my case make funny status updates. Well its also a passage to old feelings. Today of all days it happened. I spoke to a 10 year old girl that I haven't seen since she was a new born. It's hard for me to believe she is 10 almost 11. This girl lives in the southern states with her adoptive parents. She has surpasses everything myself or my sister did by her age. I recently friended her mom on facebook. Seeing her is like looking at little black version of my sister. She two grades ahead of kids her age. She plays the violin. She lives with a Christian family and has so many opportunities ahead of her. Its amazing.

The not so good part.

When this girl was born it was bad time in my families lives. My sister was given the one of the worst hands in the game of life. She wasn't someone I wanted to know when she was a teenager. The problems at home were bad, My parents were at the end of their rope with Emily. I don't want to go in depth wth what was going on because thats not for your eyes to read. It was bad and I was good at not letting anyone know there was someting going on. I worked hard in school, I worked hard in sports and I played the "perfect family" card like it was nobodies business. I was acting like the typical happy go lucky teenage boy. It was a facade.Nobody knew any different, how did I deal with my feelings? I made others laugh. I was obnoxious with my behavior. I was the constant clown, I was the the guy who would come to church and make the youth group laugh hard. No one knew and still no one knows. Thats for me.

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