Drinking....

Here are some lessons I have learned about drinking.

1) Seth + Tequila + microphone = the worst version of every Jimmy Buffet song you will ever hear...

2) Girls who come to a bar with a man hater attitude are usually the first ones you can get to go out to the parking lot...

3) Girls who dress up and get all made up are usually trash.

4) Marines will ruin everything. I know this I am one.

5) Honkey Tonks are by far the best thing ever created.

6) You will not meet anyone worth bringing home to mom and dad at a bar/club.

7) Guys who go to the bar/club and order shot after shot or beer after beer have something to prove. Guys who just get a beer and nurse it just want to have fun. Guys who order a glass of scotch (high end) and take small sips over a period of time, have nothing to prove, usually successful, won't cause problems and will more than likely tell you that he isn't interested because he isn't...

8) Girls know how to take care of their friends. If girl of interest has friends and they think you are a dirt bag, just walk away.

9) Seth + Jack & Coke (lots of them) + fish tacos = no more fish tacos...

10) Seth + certain friend (they know who they are) + good wine + 2 ladies in there early 40's with lots of money + art gallery in Palms Springs = Awesome night...

11) I'm a good BS'er when I'm sober, if I drink though, I hold the crown....

12) Always and I mean always have a sober person with your party. Not just for the obvious reasons. They can tell you if a girl that you are talking to is either 1) actually a girl 2) if she looks good 3) can see if there is a guy watching the two of you.

13) Seth + girl of interest + shovel + half a handle = 2.5 hours of digging to show her I was willing to move a mountain. That will NEVER happen again.

14) Nothing is better than a cold Budwieser after a long day of digging footings...

15) Seth + another friend + lots of beer and whiskey + friends older sister's kid + 150 fake tattoos = baby covered in fake tattoo's and one extremely angry older sister.

16) Nothing good ever comes from getting drunk.