Sunday, October 16, 2011

My insecurities...and why they are pure bullshit.

So I'm going to go out on a limb here and just let it out. This is my area and I do what I want.

1. I feel as if I am not man enough...
Ok, let's think about this one. How am I not man enough? I earned the title of United States Marine, I have fought in a war... So that's not really a good example. I have been through more shitty situations then most people I know. Other than going to war, I have lived through watching loved ones send themselves to hell and back. I have dealt with addiction and have been clean for quite sometime. I have been able to shelf my pride on many occasions in order to make situations a lot easier for both myself and others. Adversity... I feel the difference between a man and some person who owns male genitalia is how they deal with adversity. I really don't know of any other way of dealing with it. I have to take it straight on and see what happens. Sometimes I lose and sometimes I win. Either way I end up better then how I was before. If I lose, I always come back and win...and smile. I have owned up to my fears and faced them on many occasions. I accept responsibility and I learn from my mistake.I can accept a situation for what it is.

2. Women won't find me desirable...
Yea, I don't understand this one. I have no problem getting dates. I have no problems when it comes to treating them the way they need to be treated. I just need to realize that it's not me. It's them. I am comfortable with who I am. I know that I have a lot to offer someone if they deserve it. Yes, I said it. If they deserve it. That's another problem. I need to realize that it's not a one way street. They need to be just as involved as I am. If they forget my name after talking to me for a couple of hours then they need to take a walk. Obviously they don't have taste. I know what the inside of the Sistine Chapel smells like. Don't even think that you can sit at the same table as me...

3. I will never be accepted...
Accepted to what? The "mainstream"? Who cares? Most people in this society are petty and ignorant...

4. People wont take me seriously...
Those who know me do, thats all that matters.

5. I'm not sociable...
Have I seen me at a bar/party/gathering? C'mon Seth...

6. I'm not what is considered "in"...
Ok, so I'm not jacked and tan. I won't die of a heart attack at 38 nor will I get skin cancer. Tough luck. I don't find house music appealing and I don't drink myself stupid every weeknight/weekend. Look who doesn't have to deal with drama that comes from talking to the wrong girl last night? Look who doesn't have to worry about his car getting keyed (anymore). Look who doesn't double over in pain whilst crawling to the bathroom to pee!

7. I haven't seen enough of the world...
See number 2...

Thats all I can really think about right now. I am going to take this week and some self reflection and return to this...

1 comment: