Seth's rules....

Dating...

I have a three call/ask rule. I ask three times then after that I NEVER call/ask again. Ever...

Realize that 99% of all women you ask out are more than likely only going because they know they wont pay for the meal.

If she was easy for you, she was probably easy for the last 36 guys as well.

If they say they aren't high maintenance they are.

If she can't look you in the eye when you talk she is intimidated.
You can't expect her to be honest with you if you can't be honest with yourself.

Any women worth her weight in gold, will be able to tell you no.

Things take time, don't rush any portion of anything.

Whatever you do, and I mean whatever you do, don't talk about your ex...

If you're only aim is to get ass stay away from the "nice" or "good" girls or guys. You don't deserve us, and yes we are better than that.

Nice guys/girls don't finish last. They win.

Just because someone left you, cheated on you, treated you like shit. Doesn't mean every guy/girl will. You stick it out and sometimes you get it cut off. It's life, shut up, ruck up, and step the fuck off.

There is no such thing as "out of your/my league", everyone gets up in the morning and goes to the bathroom and it smells like shit too.

Just because someone comes to get you to go out for ice cream or to get a cup of coffee doesn't mean they automatically like you.

The term "stalker" is an over used term. Often times by women. First off, when you make up excuses as to why you don't want to go out with someone it's just opening you up for another invitation. Be honest. It may sting but oh well.

Physical appearance does play a huge roll, get over it.

You will never meet someone worthy of taking home to mom and dad at a bar or club.

Nice guys/girls don't finish last. They win.

I'm short, I'm portly, I'm economically challenged. I am still the man you wish your boyfriend could be.

Don't buy a girl a drink at a bar or club. It's a waste of money and time. Unless they came with you and you are dating. Think about it, how many times have you purchased a libation for a girl and she walks away? I did once, then I followed her and took it back. I'm not a charity, get drunk on your own dime.

If she grabs the check before you, you might want to try to keep her around.

If the ex shows up, be cordial. Don't put on your tough guy pants, a man will never go toe to toe with an idiot.

Being a Man...

I live my way, I won't tell you how to live yours....

Being Single....

Embrace it, take time and get to know yourself.

The whole "getting under or on another to get over the one" doesn't work. Plus it makes you skanky.

Sit down and just enjoy not having to answer to someone but yourself.

Take the time to think about how you could have been different.

Remember you aren't alone, there is a big loveable guy in the sky who is with you all the time. He is awesome, he created the world.

Just accept the fact you are crazy and move on.

Go out and have fun and be true to yourself.


Dealing with me...

Realize that I am my own person and I don't like to follow the status quo when I don't absolutely have to.

I like the fact that I drive a Subaru.

I am a nice person, but if you walk all over me its done.

Don't pick me up, tap me on the head, or touch my face.

I am loud and obnoxious.

I rarely take anything serious.

I'm a closet romantic, you have to earn that...

I am blunt.

I'm not here for your entertainment.

I have come a long way from years past, if I feel that you are bad news I won't talk to you.

I have a strong disdain for teenagers.

Little kids scare the shit out of me.

I may put up a cocky front, but truthfully, I am scared out of my mind about damn near everything.

I have a really big heart.

I still get scared in the dark.

I love hugs.

I am very stubborn. I will pound a square peg through a circle hole just to do it.

I am very forgiving.

I am a nice guy, I don't finish last. I win.

If you use the "when you, I feel" type of communication with me it works...really well.

I love hugs.

I have PTSD and it has helped me realize that I am actually a very strong person.

I don't play games, so don't play them with me.

People like me because I'm polite and rarely late.

I have a lot of friends in places you could never imagine.

I love puppies.

If I take you out and you text the entire time, be prepared to text that person and ask them for a ride. Fuck you if you think I'm sticking around. Oh and I hope you bring money because you are paying...

I have no problem sticking up for myself, so if you want to try me go ahead.

I can and will be a memory to you.


Drinking...

Be responsible.

Women...

Be respectful even if they aren't. You can throw it back in their face when the time is appropriate.

Always assume you are wrong unless you are 100% correct and can prove it. Then be classy and tactful about it.

No matter how hot or gorgeous they are, they are still capable of destroying a bathroom.

If you make them cry don't be Seth Allen and froth at the mouth...

If she is the one at the child's birthday party that is closer to the baby then the mother, you can be sure she is crazy and you shouldn't use her condoms...

If she unlocks your car door before you get to it...

If she acts stupid to be cute cut her loose.

If she is clingy cut her loose

If she says. "fine" you're fucked.

If she doesn't let you see your friends kick her to the street, the curb is to good for her ass.

If she can't hold a conversation then cut her loose.

If she changes clothing like 42 times a day cut her loose.

If she is willing to shave your back she is a keeper.

If you can't be seen in public with her then why are you talking to her?


More on me...

Remember how I said I rarely take things serious? I don't so don't take any of this serious. I can't give relationship advice unless you want advice on how to destroy one. I can't give advice on women because I don't have one. The stuff on me is solid though.

Remember this: Nice people don't finish last. They win. A lifetime with somebody who you can love and respect is better than a night with some random shitbrick that looks good at the time.