Monday, April 5, 2010


There are few games in this world that can be considered to give good life lessons. I for one feel that dodge ball is one of them. Before you think that I'm a complete idiot (which I won't deny) let me explain some things first.

The game of Dodge ball has been depicted as a cruel game by over protective mothers, they say its predatory like "smear the queer" or "Tag." Well that is kind of true. You are throwing balls at people across the room in order to get them out of the game. Sometimes its in a malicious manner. To that I say bring it. If you're afraid if someone getting hurt use softer projectiles. You know what else is considered malicious? School dances are malicious. How many of my friends out there have had their hopes up that a special someone is going to ask them to a dance only to find out they asked your worst enemy to the dance instead? It has happened to me. The truth though is that I'm not LDS and the girl wasn't allowed to go to a dance with a gentile. That will be a blog for a later time. What else is considered a not very nice thing? Hmmm i wonder. Oh here's one, little league football. When a kid is over weight they have to put an "X" on their helmet. Lets just point out that the kid is fat and can't run as fast others. Let's see what else we can think in general. If life were nice we would all find that special someone and things would be grand.

Back to dodge ball.

I find that dodge ball is a great equalizer and will teach you about life. Let's visit the equalizer factor. We all know the athletes, we all know the studs and super women of our communities. They seem to out perform everyone in every aspect. They seem to date the hot guys/girls. they get all the breaks, they are just generally more awesome than everyone. Well when they are in the pit they stand just as much of a chance getting a fast mover to the testicles or baby maker. Their faces no matter how perfect they are are just as likely to get hit with a high velocity projectile and end up bloodying a nose possibly breaking it. When you're in the octagon no one is out of reach. So in short, awesome in every way possible or not you WILL get hit in the face. T other life lesson portion of my banter. We all know those people that are go getters, we know the ones who are strategic, we also know the ones who stay in the back. The go getters are the ones who run as fast as they can to get a ball and throw it. The strategic ones wait for a ball to come to them. The useless ones stay in the back and try to grab the slow rolling balls. They grab them and gingerly throw them back to the other side hoping it hits someone but they are fine if they just catch it. God forbid they stay in the game for to long, they could get hurt. Well here it goes, if you move around and accept the fact you may get hit you will take it and move on. You will go sit on the side and wait for someone to catch the ball and get you back in the game or you wait until the next round to get your revenge. As in life sometimes you get taken out. Sometimes you get down. What do you do? You take a time out, then you analyze what happened and you make corrections. Then there are the ones who sit in the back. They hide from everything. They let the others take the fall, they let the others take the hits. Well eventually they are the only ones left. I hope at this moment you are imagining being on the winning side seeing the timid kid, the one with glasses, or the only fat kid in the class. You see them and they are scared, they are shaking even peeing themselves a little. You begin to froth at the mouth. You are all hyped up and you arm is ready to throw. In fact you are confident you could throw a 100 mph fast ball. So like a pack of ornery wolves you begin to pounce. You all throw a volley of super inflated ridgy balls at the poor soul. The first ball hits the kid in the stomach, the second hits them in the groin, the third hits them in the face. The poor kid has fallen to the ground and the balls keep coming and the coach is either laughing to hard to blow the whistle or he is creeping on the skanky girl who wears the shorts that are a little to tight and the shirt that amplifies her chest. The kid is balled up crying in their own blood and urine. By now your team should be celebrating the decimation of the poor soul and heading into the showers or whatever. That poor kid is too embarrassed to get up and the coach gives him or her a satisfactory grade for the day. What is my point? My point id this dodge ball teaches either you A) get up and fight. You stick and move when problems, hard times, or hard people enter your life or B) you hide and eventually everything finds you and beats the shit out of you and you end up in a ball of nothingness.

So in closing this is my view of life in consideration to dodge ball.

Life is like a game of dodge ball. Sometimes you never get hit. Sometimes you never hit anyone. At some point you will get hit in the ear, face, groin, or all of the above. You take your hit, go sit down. Then get back up, start the next game and play using the lessons you learned from last round.

1 comment:

  1. Well said my friend! While reading this...I pictured myself in each one of those positions that you talked about...I've filled them all. Ha ha! Love the blogs!