Monday, April 12, 2010


If you have ever served in the military or have had anything to do with the military you will come to learn about the guy named Jody. Jody is usually a friend or an acquaintance. He uses your stuff while your gone, he "takes care of" your lady when your away. He spends all of your money that you earn. He is your best friend. Here is my run in with Jody.

I was seeing a girl who I met while in high school. In fact we were together all of our Senior year, it was both awesome and shitty at the same time. This girl was that girl, you know the one. Ridiculously nice body, athletic and had parents that would buy her whatever she wanted. She came to my football games and cheered for me, she came to wrestling matches and cheered for me. She brought me food when I was at work, she pretty much did all the things a girlfriend does. We also fooled around on every bit of furniture in her parents house. I mean EVERY piece. We took her dad's sports car out for drives. If you have ever had the chance to make a Ferrari smoke it tires in 4th it. Oh and one of the best bit of shenanigans we ever did was have sex in the dark room at her very expensive private school. That was so awesome, the fumes from the chemicals made it very interesting. I'm not convinced that we were the only ones in there though. Well it was getting close to me leaving for bootcamp and we both knew it. We spent more time together, got all lovey dovey and what not. Yea it makes me sick just thinking about it. Eeeewww I'm literally cringing right now. Stupid love birds. Anyway I got to MEPS and she comes with my family. That was a hard day, we all cried and we all hugged. I left that afternoon to have my life change forever.

While at bootcamp she wrote me literally everyday. Every mail call I would get a letter and some pictures from her. I still remember having to sweat all over my mail because of Jim. He wrote insults to the Drill Instructors and what not. Thanks Jim. Well when you get pictures in bootcamp the DI's have to look at them. Well said girl would send me some very nice pictures, and the Drill instructors agreed. Anyway, come family day she was there with my parents and my sister. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Well after I graduated I went home and we all hung out and had a good time. I go to the fleet and keep talking to her on a daily basis just like two little teenagers do. Well I go home for predeployment leave and she says she wants a ring. I'm like whoah, I'm 19 and you are crazy. Soi naturally I cave. I buy her this ring that was like $1400 and looked nice. Well we had a good vacation and it was nice. My battalion was sent to Okinawa, Japan for this pump. We were there for like 3 days when the bomb was dropped on us. We are going to Iraq. I was both excited and angry. Well I call everyone to let them know the news and she didn't take it very well.

We started training pretty hard, and my phone calls were fewer and fewer. She sent me some more risque pictures and nice letters. Well we get into Kuwait and the training was getting more intense and the phone calls stopped. Except for the day before we were supposed to cross the border. So I go to the Internet cafe to buy a phone card. I check my email and the only email I get is from her. It went like this.

I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.


Well my heart was broken. I called her phone...nothing. I called her room...her roommate picked up the phone and told me she had no idea where she was at. I bribed her by telling her where girlfriend left her favorite blanket. She immediately walked the phone to her friends room (jody). I asked her what was going on. She was like "Well I met this guy and he is great. He doesn't kill people for a living. I have been sleeping with him since I got here." I hung up the phone and didn't talk to her for the rest of the deployment. I went back to my hooch and dropped my blouse and grabbed my flak jacket and went for a run. My platoon commander chased me down and asked what happened. I told him the story, he gave me some bag gloves and told me to go to officer's gym and wait for him. I beat the hell out of a heavy bag.

She sent me letters all through the deployment, apologizing and trying to save face. I never wrote her back, I never answered emails. I didn't go out of my way to try to talk to her.

When I got back home I saw her though. She was home working and I said I would go and see her. That was a bad choice. I was very civil, never saying a single mean thing to her. She told me all about her boyfriend ( I didn't really pay much attention) and tried to be all nice and friendly with me. Well after that I never saw until a few years later. She was with her boyfriend, I'm sure at one point he didn't look like a walking blister with downs syndrome and I'm sure his breathing didn't sound one of those fat guys from the "Family Guy" episode where Lois' brother is trying to kill all the obese people. Mind you, I was looking super handsome. I was lean, tan and toned. I was obviously the alpha male in the building.

She asked me about the pictures she sent me one time, I told her I burned them. I will stick with that story until the day I die. She asked me how strangers got her email, old cell phone, and knew about a certain freckle. To this day I have no idea what she is talking about ;)

Do I hold any ill will towards her? Absolutely not. We were both young and dumb. I sincerely hope that both she and her husband have a long and meaningful marriage. I sincerely say that too.

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