Monday, February 22, 2010

Seth's list of things that have to go...

I know there are many lists like this out there, but I feel like making my own. If I offend anyone so be it. This is my blog, these are my deal with it.

1. The phrase "y'all", yes its in the dictionary. I hate it. It literally makes you sound retarded.
2. Snow Bros. I don't need to elaborate on this.
3. Those rap songs that are mixed with classic rock songs. Why would you destroy a piece of fantastic music by putting your no talent ass clownery twist to it?
4. Lady Gaga
5. Sarah Palin
6. Car payments.
7. The girl that seems to take the time out of her day to come tell me that I'm stupid and ignorant. I understand that you feel that my jokes are off color, I tend to come off as an "ass" so deal with it. I know you undress me with your eyes...
8. Snow Bros.
9. The stupid glow worms we have to wear for PT.
10. Queer looking PT gear.
11. Vodka, it tastes like burning.
12. Cheap Scotch.
13. The fact that I have to be nice to people that obviously need to have someone tell them they are messed up.
14. Dammit, I want to use vulgar cadences when we do platoon PT. They are funny and make the time go by faster.
15. Dumb Skeezy's
16. My collection of fat around my mid-section.
17. Crazy women, well maybe not. For some reason I tend to like a little bit of insanity. just not the type that tries to kill me. Thats just not cool.
18. PTSD
19. The fact that big boobs are really attractive. I am a legs and butt man through and through. So if any of the ladies out there want a man who will appreciate your fine legs and hind part give me a holler.
20. The fact that I have to impress the ladies. Thats bullshit. I have lived more of a life than 98% of all the guys my age in this country. What the hell have you done?
21. The fact that a women can be smart is intimidating. I find that a smart women are the best.
22. Affliction and Ed Hardy.
23. The dirt bag look.
24. War movies. I'm sorry, if you want to watch a movie that depicts war in a real sense there needs to be long periods of boredom, lots of masterbation, all kinds of pornography, drug abuse, good guys finding out there wives are cheating on them with some fat fucking retard that works at PacSun. Some boot ass officer thinking they know what they are doing. Sometimes the combat scenes are pretty real. More masterbation followed by comparisons to women in the US to women in countries such as Thailand, Okinawa, the P.I. and mexico. Jack shacks and the wonderful and sinful materials found in said shacks. Innebriation. Then show what its like going home to a nation that has been going to the mall and eating Sbarro's pizza and saying "holy shit there is a war going on?" Then having the warrior find out his wife spent all of his money on her boyfriend and one of his kids has some sort of Diabetes that less than 100 people have but he can't afford to buy him medicine because Jody needs to make a car payment.
25. Have you ever ordered some food from shaw and you go to pick it up and the order is completley wrong?
26. Snow Bros.
27. Jocks
28. Position papers
29. People who fart and don't own up to it.
30. Tucker Max needs to be President

I can't think of anything else right now. Believe me though, my list is long.


  1. Oh, Seth, you crack me up! YOu think our PT gear is queer, but the Navy and Marines wear freaking booty shorts? (Ok, I admit, I like that Marines wear those... :) ) Do you feel better now that all of that is off of your chest? I LOVE it!

  2. Seth,

    First off Lady Gaga and Vodka those 2 need to stay!!!! Secondly, WHATS UP GURL!